So there I was, eating under the shade, with my dark sunnies plastered in my face, over-actingly shielding my eyes from the sun and true enough, the beach was packed! It seemed like they knew something that I dont know about? like going to the beach today is part of the program you idiot!

Of course I thought this is the perfect oppurtunity to scout for hot meat! I mean why do people go to the beach in the first place? – to show off their hard earned toned body and probably hook up with someone. They bring their dogs so that they’ll get noticed. Heck they bring their babies too just to get noticed! Anyway so there I was imagining that this blasted heat is going to melt me any second now when I saw this vision. (Okay that’s melodramatic, let’s change that to probably a page from DNA magazine?)

Sorry I could’nt get a good angle of him, I can’t risk appearing like a stalker, and he’s not THAT cute to be paparazzi worthy. My gaydar was buzzing which made it more interesting. I was of course planning on how to get his attention (stripping down and wearing nothing but a lip gloss came to mind) when my flatmate asked me to drive down mission bay to get a popsicle. I begrudgingly obliged although I also wanted to grab a coffee at a local starbucks there. When I got back, the bastard is now engaged in a conversation with this guy who probably is just a random beach bum who decided to lay beside him in the sand and check out his ass. Well that’s the whole point in going to the beach right? So mission accomplished for those two.

And then I had enough of this whole sun orgy thing and decided to go home. I have more important things to do and hopefully something that doesnt involve carnivorous plants.

Cherry Blossoms!

 The park was relatively huge, so after taking pictures of the cherry blossoms, and debating whether I’ll jump into the car and cruise around, I remembered I have limbs that need to be used once in a while so I decided to stroll. Lo and behold i found these

Sheeps!

Yes sheeeep! Ever since I arrived here I have’nt seen one! I gues its inevitable as this country has more sheep than humans. I have a theory that when kiwi’s die, they are actually reborn as sheep.

Then I noticed that the park was actually packed with humans too. And most of them are in pairs. You know, with their partners. Heck even the sheeps have partners, its soo depressing.

Okay I’m not generalizing that Aussies are a bunch of assholes. I know that discrimination happens everywhere not just in Australia. Actually I don’t even want to discuss about it. It’s exhausting. Just wanted to share it so that when you go to Australia, be sure to know where you’re going. And what bus to take. Or probably rent a car! Because hey, you can’t change other people and their ideals. You can only change yourself.

Russian girl and I went back yesterday (and a saturday at that) to the client’s warehouse to observe their stock take.  As an in-charge It was basically my role to delegate some tasks and to guide her with the stock take procedures. Much to my amazement though, she was the one acting as the in-charge. Hey I can’t really complain as I like the idea of getting some responsibilities off me for a while. What really pissed me off though was that she assumed that we probably have a “different” procedure back in the Philippines. I said not really! Since I came from the Philippine branch of our firm, the methodology is absolutely the same, and I’ve been to alot of stock takes back then, so I definitely know what to do. Russian girl dismissed this and we went on to do the stock take. All the while she acted as the in-charge which I did’nt mind. After two hours we’re finally done. As part of the procedure we will prepare a stock memo where we document how we observed the client’s procedures and how variances were reconciled (boring stuff actually). That memo is usually done by the in-charge. I thought, as THE in-charge, I will let her do the memo, because she mentioned earlier before the count that she has experience in accomplishing it. Blood rushed to my ears when she pointedly told me that she should’nt be doing that as she is not the in-charge and I should learn how to do it since I dont have experience with it! I guess what she meant was the ”kiwi” way of doing it. She was obscenely condescending and I was utterly dumbfounded because this is the first time that a staff, a newly-grad at that, blurted to my face that she is not doing something that I, as her in-charge, told her to do.

Feeling distressed, I opened up to my Filipino friend what happened. She said maybe its the culture here, that people really give you their opinion. But I said I’m more senior than her and she’s supposed to do what I tell her to do. It’s not like she’s completely ignorant about it, she said she’d done it herself. I wonder if it was a matter of giving an opinion or dodging responsibility or simply not following authority. In the Philippines, you basically can’t complain if your superior asked you to do something for him (as long as its reasonable). This is a sign of respect for us.

At the end of the day, what really bugged me is the question of whether she was just stating her opinion (as part of her culture as a russian or kiwi) or she was undermining my authority because of the condescending way that she told me her ”opinion”.

Looking back, I should have told dutch guy that even if I came from a poor, violent, corrupt and agitated country, at least we give respect to people who deserves it. I’m not saying that non-filipino races are not respectful. But on that situation, I certainly deserved some respect. Now I’m not sure if I’m experiencing culture shock. Or racial discrimination. This is soo exhausting.  

I’m not sure whether these revelations are new though. At some point probably, even before I got on this journey I’ve pretty much seen all sides of myself. I guess it just reinforced it and sort of magnified it a thousand times. Like I like to be alone with myself reading a book in a corner, sulking, minding my own business, but I need another person that I know present with me in a room, or a place, or cafe, wherever. What I’m trying to say is I like to be surrounded all of the time with friends or family, but I like them to leave me alone with my own thoughts. It’s like watching a TV show that you really like, and you know you’re not going to change the channel, but you keep the remote to your side, just in case you get tired. Arrgh I’m not good at this.

Another reinforcement is that Im soo full of contradictions. My job, as an auditor, requires me to interact with other people, the problem is, I’m not a people person. I mean I love people that I know, its strangers that you have to talk to get your work done that I despise. In my three years of auditng, I’ve pretty much seen all kinds of people. Polite, rude, nice, helpful,cheery,pessimistic,egotistic,indifferent,condescending, and just plain assholes. Some might say, if I hate it so much, then why don’t I quit my job? Good question actually. I guess I’m just one of those unlucky people who are not granted the privelege to really like what they do. But hey my job pays. Not obscenely much but not too bad. I mean it was my ticket to get out of the third world country where I come from.

This might make your eyes roll but there’s really no place like home. I hate to admit it but I miss my country. I don’t mean to sound so unnationalistic. I’m just being realistic, there really is not much oppurtunity to succeed in a place thats going down the drain. But I’m not gonna try to go there. Its too tiring to talk about. So going back, my point is the grass may be greener on the other side, but also try to consider if the greener grass is tastier than the patch of weeds that you’re used to.

Don’t get me wrong. I consider it a blessing that I was able to travel here in NZ and work. And earn good money. And meet beautiful, friendly people. But since I’m here alone, and everythings is still new to me, its hard to cope. If you look at it this experience is just a test to measure how resilient and strong I am. But do you have to be strong the whole time? Can’t you just let yourself go once in a while? Of course, question is how long?

The problem is I’m so clueless on what book to buy! I spend hours at Whitcoulls just to select the right book. Should I buy a book that’s recently been made into a movie? Is that a guarantee that the book is great? Usually I just buy all the books that Stephen King wrote. But I need variety! I was so frustrated that I just bought the last Harry Potter book instead, even if I’ve already read it. Hey its on a discount so why not.

Since I can’t have a pet in our flat. I decided to buy one. But choosing what to buy became such a struggle! I wanted to have the african violet, coz its perfect indoors, won’t need too much watering, and they have flowers almost all year round! Like these…

I decided to hell with flowers! I want a mysterious, disgusting, and nasty pet of a plant. So I got this! Say hello to my babies!

Of course! A venus flytrap! A pet that eats but doesn’t poop! Brilliant.